Dear Blog...

My poor page has been so neglected! As I've been told, don't sit and stare at a blank page; start writing, even if it's garbage. That probably happens more often than not.

I've been doing a lot of reading, fiction, sci-fi, romance novels. I keep thinking that I would like to be a writer. Not necessarily to strike it rich or to "be famous," just because the more I read, the more exciting it is. These entire worlds exist inside someone's head. People, plots, relationships, sometimes things that aren't even real. That's so cool. I haven't really tried yet, but I've heard the first step to writing is reading a lot. Now THAT I can do.

I've also been thinking about my goals and purpose in life. I feel like I've been stuck in an in-between phase. For those that work outside the house; does your job give you purpose? Do you feel like it is a part of your identity? As myself and many people around me have gone through being unemployed, I've noticed that losing your job almost steals a part of you. It takes away that identity that you had, "Hi, I'm an administrative assistant," or "My husband is a mechanic." For some people, they can work in the home watching their kids or in other home-based endeavors. That's awesome, and I've always thought that was what I could do best. I love being home with my kids, and I love the relaxed (PJ's!) atmosphere that working at home provides. But most of all, I miss interaction. I go to the grocery store, library, craft store, and I will often times see the same check-out clerks at their places of work. I am always a little bit jealous of these people. I couldn't tell you their names, but I've talked to them more than I do my own "real life" friends. I love the community and quick access that social media has provided, but it's also isolated us so much.

I've found that I don't sit still very well unless I am multi-tasking. It's hard for me to sit and talk to my daughter or play a game with my son without getting up and starting some laundry, picking up toys, or checking out Facebook. If it's time to sit and watch a movie, I try to have something to knit or crochet so I feel like I'm getting something done. My newfound habit is listening to audiobooks while I knit or crochet. This is fun for me, although they take SO much longer than actually reading, but I'm getting so much more absolutely necessary knitting done! In my head I tell myself that it's just therapeutic... but I'm starting to wonder if I'm slowly going crazy.